PAUSE, ASK AND LISTEN
So I’m standing in the line at the opening ceremony for a new building in a UK academic institution.
I’m privileged to be there because I’ve done some coaching work with these academics, and the institution's head has invited me along. Very nice. Thankyou. Count me in.
Working her way along the line, the visiting dignitary who is doing the ribbon-cutting bit pauses and then asks me a question.
“What do you do here?” she says.
“I train some of these academics in leadership” I reply.
“That must be difficult” she jokes in response.
And then she moves on. And as best I recall, I keep my mouth shut at that point.
OK. She was doing her job, and she could have picked on anyone in the line to chat with.
But having picked on me, she listened to my answer and had enough empathy and experience to come up with, in an instant, her response.
I suggest there’s a lesson here for us all.
Do I pause, ask and listen often enough in my daily walk?
Do I do it with the supermarket assistant? Do I do it with the innumerable people whom I encounter who are very often providing me with some sort of service?
Do I even truly SEE them? Do I spot their names on their lapel badges and address them by name? Or do I treat them as people who are there just to meet my needs?
And then, of course, there’s work colleagues.
All of the above applies.
I was present at an event recently with a very senior leadership team, who are under huge pressure. Clearly no time to pause, to ask, and to listen.
Except that afternoon they did all of that. They paused, literally, for twenty minutes to walk around the neighbourhood, and they all loved it.
And then when they came back, they asked questions of each other, they listened to the answers, they asked follow-up questions, and they even found time to thank each other for the contributions they were making.
It was, in a way, actually quite emotional. And it absolutely helped build that team.
Pause. Ask. Listen. PAL. Key to all strong relationships I suggest.
Your Best Self
“Your Best Self” is a collection of 20 reflections like this one, with the common thread of how we can create greater humanity in our interactions with each other. It can be used either by teams or by individuals. To get your copy just follow the link:
