DON’T PARK MY CAR FOR ME
“You wouldn’t believe where they send us”.
The speaker is a lorry driver, and we are standing in the centre of a small village in the North of England. He is about to reverse his lorry around two right angle bends, into a yard which is his destination. It’s a lorry which is huge in its own right, before taking into account the fully loaded trailer he is pulling.
Length of load, lack of visibility, and geography are all against him.
On the other hand, for him are the villagers who are standing to applaud his efforts.
Also for him is the skill he has developed over several years of doing this. This is not his first rodeo.
But then there’s me. I have been reversing cars for over fifty years. I can do this. Or more accurately, I used to be able to do this.
What’s changed?
What’s changed is the fact that I now own a car that wants to do it for me.
As soon as I start to reverse, a disembodied set of noises come from the car dashboard telling me that I am too close to the kerb/car behind/car in front/random person walking across road.
In the limit, this disembodied controller (I’ll call her Linda) will even slam on the brakes for me.
Sometimes, when Linda is in full flow, I get out of the car and check just how close I am to the hazard she is so concerned about. And inevitably I will find that my judgement is fine, I didn’t need to panic, and I could have safely ignored Linda and simply parked my own car.
But now I find myself driving past slightly challenging parking places and going for the safest possible option.
I have lost my confidence. I have been deskilled. By Linda.
I worked with a manager recently who was like my Linda.
She wanted to do everything for the people around her. She would take over when she didn’t need to, physically or metaphorically pushing people out of the way so she could do it.
Her motives might have been positive and caring (like Linda’s). But as a consequence, those around her had lost confidence in their own abilities, and were simply letting their manager do it.
A lesson for us all then. Don’t be Lindas. Give others a chance. Let them grow and learn. And then, like the villagers in my story, stand back and applaud their efforts.
Your Best Self
“Your Best Self” is a collection of 20 reflections like this one, with the common thread of how we can create greater humanity in our interactions with each other. It can be used either by teams or by individuals. To get your copy just follow the link:
