WHO’S GOT THE POWER?
“I act” she said “as if he has all the power. But that’s not right is it? I have it!”
It had been a long coaching session. Like so many, the conversation had ranged over multiple topics, but as we neared the end, we returned to a theme which had been niggling away throughout the morning.
Clearly this issue hadn’t quite been nailed. Yet. And then came the “Aha!” moment. Not something I said. But a light bulb going on.
“I act as if he has all the power. But actually, I have it!”.
Whatever we might think of the word, power is a fact of life. Certainly in the workplace.
Doesn’t need to be hard. Can be quite soft.
Doesn’t have to be thrown around. Often better not directly spoken of at all.
We’re not talking of the power of the organisation chart here.
We’re talking of the power that allows us to get things done with peers, with partners, with colleagues. Power which often comes down quite simply to personality. Or reputation.
The point that my client (call her Sue) had spotted was that we often don’t recognise the power we have. Something within us is says “They’re bigger than I am”, and we shrink back.
BATNA is a useful concept used in negotiations which has relevance here.
Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement.
In brief, if my alternative to agreeing something with you is strong, then I have power in the negotiation. So I don’t need to settle easily.
On the other hand if my alternative is weak, I have less power. I may need to settle quickly. Dependent, of course, on your power, which I may (or may not) be able to see.
Malcolm Gladwell (he of “The Tipping Point” fame) wrote a book called “David and Goliath” which gets into all of this.
David knew he could beat Goliath. He’d worked it out. He didn’t need to settle.
Goliath, on the other hand, thought he had much more power than he actually had. Maybe he should have settled. Bit late now…
We can need help in understanding the power we have. I come across many who underestimate it. They look at the other party, see Goliath, and shrink.
Some of us may have negative images of power. But power can be used for good.
Sadly, the reality is that when we shrink in the face of the imaginary Goliaths, we sometimes allow the not-so-good to triumph.
We may allow things to go in a direction which is, let’s say, “sub-optimal”.
Using our power then requires us both to recognise it, and to have the courage to use it.
Just like that client did. You know, the one called Sue.
FANCY A SLIGHTLY LONGER READ?
Maybe try one or more of the books
